Awake and Arise

Morning. In my world morning is a synonym for torture. The sun shines brightly, the birds sing, and everything wakes up new and refreshed. Don't get me wrong, mornings are beautiful. They can be enjoyed. But mornings mean that I have to wake up. Since I'm a night person, this is a real chore and I'm seldom happy about it. What good could ever come from having to get out of bed?

Flash back almost 200 years; it's an early in the morning in the early spring. The sun is slowly fighting off the chill of the night. You are sitting in a field near a family farm in New York. You hear a door creek open and look over at the house. A boy of about 14 is walking out of the house with a look of determination radiating from his countenance. He walks to the trees and disappears in the green wood. You sit and contemplate what would drive a boy that age to venture into the words so early on a cold morning. But life goes on and you soon forget what you saw.

A few days later you see that face again. But is has changed. Instead of determination, you see peace, humility, and a light that seems to shine from the face of this ordinary 14 year old farm boy. What could cause such a change?

The next day, determination fills your soul as you arise with the sun. You follow the young man's path into the woods; searching desperately for a sign of his secret transformation. You come upon a clearing and your heart catches fire. It looks like many clearing you have seen but the warmth in your chest drives you to your knees. 

Your knees hit the grass and foliage that is packed down, as if someone knelt here before. You look up at the sky and see a shaft of light breaking through the green canopy. It's the most beautiful thing you've seen in years. It's so peaceful and quiet.

You clasp your hands together and start pouring out your heart. You know the Lord is near. You can feel it in every breath you take and in the still of the grove. You lose track of how long you've been praying; but the tears on your cheeks have dried and left stiff salt trails down your face. You leave the grove with a new humility, a new faith, a new light.

Elder Kikuchi, in a devotional at BYU- Idaho stated, "Morning is a symbol of the resurrection." How many mornings do you spend with your Savior?

Joseph Smith Jr. entered the Sacred Grove in the morning. He knelt and prayed to our Father in Heaven in a secluded peaceful place. He did all of this right after waking and he was blessed.

How often do we seek out our own Sacred Grove, our own quiet safe place where we can commune with our Father in Heaven? How many mornings do we awake with an eye set so firmly on the council of our creator that we are driven to our knees?

You Might Be An Elementary Education Major If......

So I love my major, and not to brag but I feel like I'm pretty good at it! I love that I can do silly things and no one judges me. For instance, You may be an elementary education major if...

 You make your friends play Chinese Jump Rope with you in the park in preparation for a P.E. lesson. And just so we're clear, Katie and I are in fact playing Cats Cradle in this picture. We didn't get any of the actual Chinese Jump Rope game.

 You use your compass and protractor to draw a turtle in the middle of Literacy class and name him something like Simeon. Now Simeon Miles (thanks for the last name Wes) is a turtle from Zimbabwe. He is wearing a beanie because it's kinda cold. :)

 You actually own more than two books of construction paper, various animal stickers, letter stickers, more than two coloring books, and construction paper scraps from previous projects.

 You own an entire pencil box full of colored pencils, markers, and crayons. In addition, you own a jumbo pack of markers and any given kind of tool to teach math: geo boards, counters, various shapes, and the counting blocks with one, ten, or a hundred.

 You own and know how to use a Chinese Jump Rope and chalk. Not to mention the fact that you scoured ebay in order to find that Chinese Jump Rope and you actually also have one at home.

You find an empty box in the middle of the floor and automatically find your construction paper and glue stick in order to make a puppet show box, including two minuscule puppets out of twist ties. And you make up an entire life story for said puppets (they got a bad spray tan, don't ask). 

And finally, a person can't put a piece of paper in front of you when you are bored because you will do something like draw a dancing robot on it named Mirmin. He actually works in a grocery store and dances in his free time to "recharge his batteries".

So if you do all of these things and don't have any children that you are doing them for, then maybe just maybe you should become an Elementary Ed major!

Oh did I mention you have to have a very strange imagination to be in my major?!?

50 Questions to Free Your Soul

I totally stole this from Jaime. It just looked like it was a good way to spend a few minutes. I love questions that require thought.

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

That’s an interesting question. Based on looks people tend to think I’m a lot younger than I am (generally 15 or 16) but I’ve always been able to identify well with older people. I’ve never had a problem talking to adults or making myself heard. So I would say maybe 25 or 26? I feel like I’m a lot older than I am in some ways and a lot younger in others. It just depends on the situation.

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?

This one is tough. I hate failing. I tend to take it very personally and harp on it a long time. But I also know that I regret the times in my life that I walked away from an opportunity without trying something. So I have to say never trying. I don’t like living my life in what if’s.

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

I know that I start to dislike things that are repetitive. The dream of being able to do something makes me automatically like it because it is different from the norm. But I also know from experience that a lot of the things that I just know I will enjoy end up being some of my worst experiences. So I like to live my life doing things that don’t always make me happy but that bring me the most happiness in the long run. As for the things I don’t do, well those I save for dreams. Because in my dreams they are perfect and make me happy.

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

Probably, I’m really good at talking about doing things. It’s harder for me to act on them. But I also think there is great value in talking and I happen to be great at it. But I do hope they are somewhat equal and that the things I do end up reflecting the things I say I will do.

5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

I would change all of the bitterness and hate. Life’s too short to spend hating each other. If we (especially me) could all focus more on all of the great things that each person brings to this world, we would all be much happier and we would find that every day would be easier.

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Ok so this is totally cheesy but I would have to say teaching, writing, loving… I absolutely love teaching. Children are so happy and so willing to learn and it makes me happy to be able to give them that. I would also like to write. I may not be good at it but it brings me a great deal of happiness and peace. But mostly I would be rich if I got paid for loving people. I find it very easy to love people and I think that it’s what brings me the most happiness. The genuine concern I have for my fellow men.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

This depends on the day. A lot of the time I settle for what I am doing because I’m afraid to reach for more. But I do my best to do what I believe and to live the way I believe I should. But I do have my low points where settling is the most I can manage.

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

I wouldn’t spend nearly as much time on the computer. Or watching movies. I would have a lot more human interaction and I would work harder in school. I would do my best to make a change in the world instead of waiting for a better opportunity. But I would continue reading. Reading is the best escape and the best way to expand the life you live. I’ve already lived the lives of thousands of other people and I have learned from each of them. I actually might read more.

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

I have always been in control of my life. This is actually quite embarrassing. I have chosen every path I’ve been on. My parents have never forced anything on me and I’m not one to let anyone else force me to do anything. I have controlled the course of my life 100% although I have not chosen the consequences of my actions, I have made all of my own choices and I have decided what I would do with the consequences.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

Doing the right things. I couldn’t care less if I do the wrong things right (is that even possible?) I focus on doing what I know is right and yes quite often I do the wrong things but when I do the right things I keep trying until I do them exactly right.

11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

I always stand up for my friends. I know that sometimes the easiest way to do this is just walking away. I can’t change other’s opinions and I’m tired of trying to. But I will not sit idly by and listen to people tearing down someone who is important to me. I actually don’t think it’s appropriate to tear anyone down, whether I like them or not.

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Abilene from the Help says it best. You is Kind. You is Smart. You is Important. Everyone should know this and it is true for every person when they are first born. What they do with the rest of their lives is up to them.

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

This isn’t even a question. Yes, I would do whatever necessary to save my loved ones.

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

This happens quite often with me. Even in my own life. Some of the most random and insane things that I have done now appear to be incredibly creative. (who would’ve thought a cardboard box could be so absolutely beautiful as a toy?)

15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

Math. I cannot do math by the rules. I have always been able to see an equation and work it out in my head without a problem. But if I sit down and try to work it out the “right” way, I get the wrong answer every time. My mind processes math in an incredibly unique way that I can’t explain but it works for me.

16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

Because we have all been lucky enough to be born as unique individuals. For instance, my whole family enjoys playing sports. I detest them. I would rather read a book or act in a play or write. I am the black sheep in my family but when I try and do the things that make them happy we all end up completely miserable. I am my own person therefore my happiness is defined in different ways.

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

I want to completely start over. Move somewhere where no one knows me and be me. Exactly as I really am without fear of people criticizing me for not being who they think I should be. The thing holding me back is my fear. I hate being alone.

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

Yes, I hold on to things in my past that are seemingly unimportant. I have let them define me. This is not a healthy way to live and I’ve been working hard on letting them go.

19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

Anywhere in the south. I have always wanted to live in the south because I feel like I would be at home there. I love the culture.

20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

Yes I do push it more than once. No I don’t think it makes the elevator go faster. I just like to fidget and I tend to be drawn to buttons.

21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

A worried genius. I worry a lot already. It’s who I am. I love people and I worry about them and about anything that may affect them. I would rather be a genius because I can’t abide stupidity.

22. Why are you, you?

I am me because of what I have been. I brought myself here through every choice I’ve made and every emotion I’ve felt. I am me because I have learned from my past and I have let it shape me.

23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

No. I am a terrible friend. I tend to be completely selfish in any relationship and I need to improve on that. I would despise myself if I was my friend.

24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

I’ve never experienced either. My good friends and I may not talk for months or years even. But the moment I need them they are there and if we run into each other we pick up like we haven’t been apart. If someone is really a good friend nothing can change that.

25. What are you most grateful for?

I am most grateful for the gospel. Without this church I would be completely lost. Right now I’m mostly lost but I always have something to fall back on. Even when I think I’m going to stop living the gospel I end up coming back. I’ve tried to walk away and I can’t. It’s the one inevitable truth in my life. No matter how much I struggle or question it, it never changes. The gospel is my rock. But having an amazing family and group of friends is a definite bonus.

26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

Losing my old memories would be the worst. Without them I wouldn’t be me.

27. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

Yes, although I’m one to challenge things. I absolutely know it’s possible to just know the truth, no questions asked.

28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?

Over and over. But I have always survived it and come out stronger. And each time I end up with one more guardian angel out there keeping an eye on me.

29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?

Which time? I’m always extremely upset. But I can say that yes some of the times 5 years ago really did matter. But the vast majority of the time they didn’t and they were miniscule immature things to be upset about.

30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?

Any time I spent with my cousins. I can’t pinpoint any one in particular. I’ve always loved the bond I have with my cousins and those memories have stayed with me and gotten me through hard times like nothing else could.

31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

The George Strait concert. Is that corny? Yes, but I didn’t care what anyone else thought about me there. I was there to see a man who has greatly influenced my life. I got to hear him sing songs that have gotten me through some of the toughest times and I was genuinely happy.

32. If not now, then when?

In the Lord’s time. It’s not my choice to make. All things come in the Lord’s time and I trust in that.

33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

Achieved what yet? I achieve something new every day. As long as I am constantly achieving something and working towards something than there is never anything lost.

34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

Yes. The people I am closest to in my life don’t have to say anything. We can have an entire conversation by just being in the same room.

35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

Because there must be opposition in all things. Love is one of those things and religion has more opposition than anything else because everyone knows that they are right. (Its human nature to hate being wrong) Thus we have war.

36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

Yes. Everyone has a moral compass and they have their own view of what is good and what is evil. They can choose to blur those lines if they want to but I think everyone has some sense of good and evil.

37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

Yes, I would finish school pay off my loans and start teaching. The job I have now would not be worth holding onto, as it makes me miserable and grouchy.

38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

Depends on the day. But if I’m going to be doing work either way? I would rather have more work that I enjoy.

39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

Not really. Every day for me brings on new thoughts and new onslaughts of emotion. I don’t think any two days have ever seemed the same to me.

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

When I decided to take a year off of school. Everyone thought it was a horrid idea. But I knew that it was exactly what I needed.

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

Ross, Shilee, Gram, as many cousins as possible, Katie and Sydney. They are the most important people in the world to me.

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

Are there people that actually say yes to this? Heck no! I want my life to be as long as possible and I think fame and being “extremely attractive” are recipes for disaster and being miserable. I’m good thanks though.

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

Being alive means you’re breathing and your heart is beating. Truly living means you’re feeling something.

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

The moment you are born. Risk and reward should never influence your decision when it comes to doing what’s right.

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

Because we hate failing or feeling like we did something wrong.

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Ha I would be 100% me all the time. I’m doing much better at this lately and I’ve realized that fewer people judge me when I’m true to myself than judge me when I’m trying to be something I’m not.

47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

I always listen to myself breathe… so right now as I’m typing this, or as you’re reading it. It’s constant for me.

48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

I love emotions. They are so wonderful. Even the most horrid emotion is a gift. I love showing how I feel and I love that I am so good at embracing what I feel. Ha I’ve had a few conversations with people lately where I say something like, “yes, I am over emotional. But I will not change who I am for you”.

49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

Ha yes probably I will. I have a really good memory for such things… And I did just see George Strait so that’s pretty easy to remember.

50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

I never let other people make my decisions for me. This is my life; I choose how I live it.